“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.”

The past two weeks I’ve been learning a lot about grace but even more about God’s plan.

To try and help you understand, but not to give too many details and stir up things, a few people whom I thought were friends were intentionally spreading false information about myself and others, believing said information without asking us about it, and, because of those words, took action that was done in a very poor and immature manner that did not reflect Christ. Those actions have deeply affected myself and others.

Throughout this time, I keep hearing the same quote over and over in my head:

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.”

My mind keeps going back to the story of Joseph in Genesis.

Joseph’s brothers became jealous and self-serving. They put their own interests and jealousy above any concern for Joseph’s feelings and, even, his life. They had no regard for the consequences or affects that their actions would have, so long as it pleased them in the moment.

While I don’t think my life was in danger and then they decided to settle for malicious words, I have been empathizing with Joseph’s story.

I have felt hated, betrayed by those I trusted, confused as to what I did to cause them to harbor such feelings, angry at the actions they took and the way in which they did so, and sad at the disregard for emotions and how it would affect me.

I can only imagine what I have been feeling is just a small scale to the range of emotions that Joseph was going through as he was in chains being taken from everything he knew into a land of unknowns.

We don’t have a lot of details about Joseph’s journey from a personal point of view, but I can’t help but wonder what he was thinking.

Did he cry out to God and say, “What next?!”? Did he ever question what God was doing? Did he feel sorry for himself and weep at his unfortunate circumstances? Did he feel bitterness and hatred towards his brothers? Did he gleefully skip behind the caravan, his chains clanking, saying, “It’s ok because I know God’s in control!”?

(If he was anything like me, he did all those things at different times.)

I don’t know if Joseph’s revelation that I quoted earlier was something he always had in his mind and heart or if it took him the 14+ years of ups and downs in his new life to get to that point, but it has been an encouragement for me to lean into during this time.

I know this isn’t the end of my story!

I know my story’s barely just begun! 

 I know that the best place to be is in the middle of God’s will.

I know my actions or those of others aren’t a surprise to God and they cannot derail his plans. 

I know that God knew this would happen.

I know God has bigger plans than I can imagine. 

I know I can only see a step at a time, most times, but that he can see the entire journey. 

I know that humans can be selfish, hateful, and very flawed, but that God can use anything to bring about a testimony that glorifies his name.

I know that, in the end, Joseph stood before his brothers that literally sold him into slavery. 

I know he forgave his brothers for their actions and feelings. 

I know that he approached Pharaoh and requested land for each of his brothers. 

I know his brothers were given not just any land, but the best part of the land.

I know Joseph also provided food and resources for them.

I know that Joseph’s life became very different than he thought it would be.

I know the actions of those around him impacted every area of Joseph’s life.

I know Joseph knew the Lord was with him, even in the unknown.

I know Joseph got it right when he told those who caused him the most pain and invoked a drastic change in his life, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.”

There are still a lot of unknowns I am experiencing because of their actions, but I know being in the middle of God’s will is the best place to be—even if you don’t know what is happening next. I am still having to cycle through continuous forgiveness to those people. I forgive them, then I hear something else they have said or hear how their words have affected someone else and I get angry and bitter. I’m constantly reminding myself to have grace and forgive. I am taking life one step at a time and trusting God has a big plan for my life.

I’ve already seen God work in ways that are nothing short of miraculous in the past two weeks.

He’s provided ministry partners, a place to live, furniture to fill every room, and friends that have stuck around and been an encouragement through the difficult times.

My life today might not look like I thought it was going to when I was planning this trip, but I have no doubt that it’s so much better than what I could have planned, even with all the ups and downs I’ve been experiencing.