God cares about the toilet paper.

A week ago, I stepped into the unknown and trusted that God would provide every step of the way.

It’s been a week of peace and reassurances, despite a lot of unknowns.

He clearly showed me a house that met all my wants and needs so I began renting a house that, on paper and according to my budget, I couldn’t afford. Technically, I still cannot afford it, but God can. Not only was I able to pay for rent, but money has also come in to buy some small things to make it more like a home.

As I was telling my sister recently, I never thought my first place would be in Africa. I’m almost 28 years old and, besides living in the dorms for two years in University, I’ve always lived with my parents (or been traveling the world hah). But, that’s not even the craziest part to me; I never imagined my first place would also happen when I have no job.

I know that being a support-raised missionary is a job, just as much as being a journalist with a salary, but it’s also different. Instead of having an overabundance of money, or at least enough to get by with a little to save, I am living on a very tight budget (think meals of noodles like Ramen and eggs) and saying, “God, I know you’ll provide toilet paper this week.”

It is definitely stretching my faith. 

I never thought I’d be relying on my monthly supporters in order to buy toilet paper or a tray of eggs.

Do I feel slightly silly when I pray and ask God to provide toilet paper? I do. 

Would I change my situation where I had a giant account full of money while I’m here? Honestly, I don’t think I would.

In America, it’s very easy to place God in the background. We have everything we need and we can sustain ourselves. Until something happens that seems like it’s out of our control, we tend to rely on ourselves, our money, our experience, our knowledge to get through our days.

In Uganda, I can’t make it through a day with God in the background. I have to actively seek him and ask for my every need. I have to have complete faith and utter trust that he will provide exactly what I need, when I need it. It might be something small, like toilet paper, or it might be something bigger, like the ATMs close to me are down (things just stop working here for days or weeks at a time) and I have two hundred shillings to my name (about $0.05) and I have no food for the day. Logically, I have no way to eat for that day. But God prompts a friend to treat me to lunch, with enough left over for dinner.

I have to pray that the water is there for a shower after two days of no water; that the power outage will not happen tonight because I want to talk to my family for the first time in a week; that avocados will be in the market because I’ve been craving them for days and no one has them; that my boda driver that says he knows where the place I’m going is, actually does and I will arrive safely; that I can negotiate well with the small money I have and get food for the week; that I can buy the things I both want and need for my house to make it my home; that I won’t get sick from eating a street girl’s chunk of moldy bread that she offered me as a thank you for coming to her school (refusing someone’s food offering in Uganda is very rude).

And that’s just to name a few recent prayers from this week that I can recall. Some of them might seem silly to you but all of them have been answered and showed God cares about the little things just as much as the big things.

So, is it sometimes difficult to live a life of total dependence on God to provide your every need? Yes.

And sometimes I feel like I’m constantly asking for more money from people and checking my account balance, waiting on how and where God will provide. 

But since stepping out in faith, I haven’t had a single minute of a day where I doubted what I was doing or where I was supposed to be.

I know I am supposed to be here, in the Pearl of Africa, and that God will continue to provide if I seek him for my every need-- even the toilet paper. 

Old made new: How Mr. Nickolas' faith has brought a school from a dream to a beautiful reality

The boda literally skids to a stop and the driver turns off the engine.

That means we’ve arrived. 

I take a minute to try to figure out exactly where I am. I am used to the ministry van bringing me directly to the school. Although things look familiar, I cannot see the school from here. I hop down from the boda and pay the driver.

As I turn around, I hear a familiar laugh.

“Auntie Cassie! You are most welcome!”

Mr. Nickolas has walked up to the road to greet me with a hug and make sure I find the school.

As we walk down the windy, dirt road and through the neighborhood, people call out to Mr. Nickolas to say hello. It’s obvious that everyone knows him and he is well loved.

We turn the corner next to a few family-owned shops and I can’t help but smile.

The voices of children reciting a well-known cheer for their classmate who has answered something correctly rings through air.

A few children have yelled down the road, announcing my arrival, so some children have escaped their classes and are waiting for me in the courtyard.

With the smile that always stretches across his face, Mr. Nickolas says, “The children have been disturbing me a lot asking when you are coming! They are excited to see you!”

We walked around the back of the first structure and ducked into a small classroom, smaller than a bedroom, but seating more than thirty smiling children, none older than four years old.

Seconds after entering the room, I am immersed in a class-wide hug. All the children had left their seats and ran, as quickly as possible, to get to me.

Mr. Nickolas is talking, but whether to me or the children, I am unsure, because his voice is lost in the giggles of the children as they express their excitement to see me.

This happens five more times.

I am taken to five more classrooms of children ranging from three years old to thirteen years old.

Each classroom immediately greets me with hugs, songs, dancing, clapping, and lots and lots of giggles.

I have never felt more loved and welcomed!

The love the children at New Brainstorm give is in direct correlation to the love that they have received from Mr. Nickolas.

I first met Mr. Nickolas in 2012 when we came to his school to do a program. His joy and love were the same then and I left wanting to be involved with the school even more.

In 1996, Mr. Nickolas was part of a church fellowship. The pastor had a heart for orphans and street children. He fed them and provided for them. Nickolas was impacted by his pastor’s actions and had dreams to help out those less fortunate someday.

In 2010, after spending some time hawking curry powder and tea leaves on the busy Ugandan streets, Mr. Nickolas decided he wanted something more for his life. He approached a friend and told her about his vision to help village children and street children. He had a dream to start a school for them.

They secured a small piece of land in the highland of a swap for a very good price. And, through networking with friends and colleagues, they were able to get some timber given to them to begin the school.

In 2011, the first classroom of Brainstorm Nursery and Primary School was constructed. The small, one room timber structure was a beginning, but it was just the beginning of their dream.

2012

School in Uganda is not free. Even the cheapest village schools is something a lot of parents cannot afford. When they have to choose between food/rent for the family or an education for one child, education isn’t a priority. For this reason, many children are not in school.

Mr. Nickolas wanted to lift the burden of school fees for these families.

What started off as a few children from the neighboring community quickly grew to be more children than their one-room structure could accommodate.

They purchased more timber and added more rooms onto the pre-existing one. The more rooms they added, the more children showed up for classes.

With the completion of two building wings, Brainstorm had enough classrooms to allow each class to have its own room, from baby class to primary seven.

The structures in 2012

The following year wasn’t without challenges of its own, though.

Mr. Nickolas’ friend and partner at Brainstorm, passed away suddenly while delivering a child in her home. Suddenly, he was alone in his dreams for the school.

The same year, the local government was threatening to close his school and even imprison him for his wooden structure not being up to their standards. They told him he had no business running a school. He replied that he did not, but that God did, so he would continue running it for God’s glory.

Unfortunately, the poorly-constructed wooden structure couldn’t stand the test of time. After only a few years, it eventually collapsed upon itself. While saddened by its collapse, Mr. Nickolas didn’t lose faith. Instead, he placed everything in God’s hands and asked him to provide.

A man from South Sudan called Mr. Nickolas and made him an offer; he said he should come use his land and buildings in the middle of Kampala for the school- free of charge.

The school received new land, new students from the community, new hope, and a new name: New Brainstorm.

A year and a half later, New Brainstorm is continuing to grow and thrive in their new location.

Recently, Mr. Nickolas hired all new teachers, all of whom have a teaching degree or certificate; something that not even the big schools in Uganda care about when hiring teachers. He cares about the education of the children so deeply that he is striving to find the best equipped teachers in Uganda for his students.

In the five years since opening its doors, Mr. Nickolas has never chased a child from New Brainstorm due to school fees. While he asks for parents to contribute something- whatever amount they can, to pay for the teachers and supplies needed- he doesn’t demand anything. In Ugandan schools, fees are due after the first week of the term and, if you fail to pay, they chase you from school and do not allow you to learn. Mr. Nickolas realizes some things are more important than money.

October 2016

While they have come a long way, Mr. Nickolas believes God has even bigger plans for New Brainstorm.

They have recently purchased a plot of land in a village to grow their own food, both to sell and to be able to feed the children during their lunchtime (meals are almost never provided for children in Ugandan schools like they are in American schools) and many students go the entire day until evening without eating. Most people understand the correlation between a full stomach and the ability to learn. Their days are made even longer and more difficult when you know the distances they travel. In order to receive this free education, some parents send their children to school over two miles from their homes. Every day, these children, as young as three years old, walk two miles to and from school. Now, imagine walking two miles at 6 a.m. with no food, sitting and learning all day, packing your bags and walking another two miles at 4 p.m. to a home where there might not be dinner that night.

Teaching at Brainstorm in 2012

The man from South Sudan who has allowed New Brainstorm to use his land for the past year and a half is now wanting to sell the land or, at least, get money from the school to help him pay for it. Mr. Nickolas’ dream is to be able to purchase this large plot of land, parts of which are undeveloped and parts of which have structures on it, and develop the two school buildings into a beautiful, spacious compound with room for the children to play netball, football, and act like children. The land is also titled, something not too common in Uganda, which means its ownership would be completely legally theirs and the government could not do anything to it or take it away at any point.

He dreams to, one day, have all the children in uniforms. Considering most of the children cannot afford school fees, they certainly don’t have the money to purchase uniforms. Costing just over $6 for each child, even that is an amount the children simply cannot afford. Currently, there are around 25 children who are unable to afford a uniform at New Brainstorm.

God is doing a mighty thing at New Brainstorm and I’ve been honored to be asked to be a small part of it!

As of right now, I will be partnering with New Brainstorm every Tuesday from now until I leave.

(I hope that my schedule will remain open and available that I can go more frequently, but I feel like I am supposed to be there on Tuesday for sure. So, right now, that is what I’m committing to.)

During my time at New Brainstorm, I will be teaching some classes, helping with administrative things, and, of course loving on the children.

The children love to write letters and have always tried to find pen pals in other countries, so I’ve reached out on social media, as well, and found a good number of people with children and teachers who expressed an interest in having pen pals. I will also be helping the children improve their English and conversational skills through their letter writing. Plus, they’ll get to learn more about America and make friends, in the process!

My pen pals from 2012

If you couldn’t tell by the information I’ve provided, Mr. Nickolas and his wife have huge hearts and have larger-than-life faith in God and his provisions- both for their lives and for New Brainstorm. The 29-year-olds have three boys under six years old, a home that is always filled with children from New Brainstorm visiting, a successful primary school with certified and educated teachers, and a small fellowship of believers that they help feed with the Word of God and encourage, and a heart to continuously give more to those in need or to make others feel welcome.

While the door has just opened for my partnership with New Brainstorm, I couldn’t be more excited about the future and the possibilities that are ahead with them!

God's timing can be a funny thing sometimes!

I wrote that last blog post on Wednesday, when I was still in the village, and published it on Friday morning, when I returned to the city and the world of internet. 

I didn't yet know how much my life was about to change in the following 24 hours. Honestly, if I had any idea about what was to come, I might have crawled into bed and tried to hide.

Friday, I received a very hurtful and, quite frankly, hateful accusatory message from someone who I considered my friend here. Being a high feeler, it shattered me and left me sobbing and asking what I did to deserve that. A question, unfortunately, I still do not have the answer to.  

Saturday, I was presented with an ultimatum that changed everything. The decision I felt God leading me to was one that left me without a place to stay long-term and with separation from almost everything and everyone I had come to know here.

I got lost in selfishness and emotions and threw a pity party. I sat on a bed and silently sobbed for probably close to an hour.

Then, with the words of a total thinker personality telling me to basically get it together, I got up and started seeking God's direction.

Within an hour, I had a place to live; I officially closed on the negotiations for my house!

Though it still needs a final interior paint job and a deep cleaning before I try to furnish it, I had a place to sleep that night and for the next three months. 

God provided a house to make into my home at the exact hour that I needed it.

Even though almost everyone I knew was leaving for the village in less than an hour to spend a week there, I had an instant family support system around me. 

The family compound where my house sits, has two young boys who immediately came to check on me. They sat with me until around 10 p.m, when I said I had to go to sleep because I was dozing after an emotional draining day. But the very next morning, they were outside waiting on my veranda for me. They told me they would help me with anything I wanted or needed and the youngest even said he wanted to teach me how to cook, specifically how to bake a cake, if I would be staying a while. I assured him I would have plenty of time to make some cakes.

Family members that I have begun to call my own, were made aware of my situation and told I might call them at any time, if I felt lonely. They all offered to welcome me into their houses for as long as I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I received "random" messages from friends in country asking about my coming to see them at their ministry this week- something I had never thought of, for some reason. Their words were full of love, support, and reassurance that God will provide. Multiple times, he mentioned my being part of their family and how I would never be alone in Uganda. They had no idea what I had just experienced. 

I was shocked at how quickly everything I had become comfortable with had fallen apart in just over 24 hours. But, it was very clear that God was in control during it all. Within hours of my world seemingly crumbling, God used to broken pieces to put it together in a different way.

Maybe one day, I will default my mind to remember that Jehovah Jireh is my great provider and his plans are so much better than my own.

Maybe one day, I won't throw pity parties and get down when the world throws junk at me and I'll instinctively seek God for my next step.

I pray that one day those things will happen.
I know it wasn't the way things went this weekend, but I know (and God knows) that I'm a work in progress and God will give me chances time and time again to make that heart posture my default.

So, as of right now, everything has changed, once again.

I'm no longer a roaming nomad; I have a beautiful two-bedroom house to make into my home.
I have a large network of friends and family, both in country and in America, that are rallying around me in the easy times and in the hard times.
I do not have a ministry that I am committed to all day, every day, but I have opportunities to serve with some of my favorite people and places whenever I want.

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I am so thankful that God provided this beautiful, two-bedroom house for me to call my own! It has, however, added slightly to both my monthly and one-time expenses. At around $130 a month, my cost of living will be exceeding my current monthly pledged amount. I am also in need of one-time donations to purchase a few things to make this house a home- like a burner, saucepan, and utensils for cooking, a few chairs/small couch for myself and visitors to sit in the front room, and a shelf for my clothing and personal items in my bedroom. I have been allowed to use the mattresses for the time being, but will have to eventually give those back to the owner and purchase my own. To be able to purchase these things, I am in need of an additional $200.

If you can help me make this beautiful house a home, please use the link to make a tax-deductible one time or monthly donation:  https://worldoutreach.org/index.php/missionary-support-2 

(As you can see, there are still a few finishing touches to complete the house, like repainting all the rooms and giving it a final clean. That is why I wasn't originally going to be able to move in for a few weeks, but they are finishing those things right now while I am at the cafe.)

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Jehovah Jireh

My provider

His grace is sufficient

For me

My God shall supply all my needs

According to His riches in glory

He will give His angels

Charge over me

Jehovah Jireh cares for me, for me, for me

Jehovah Jireh cares for me

Two weeks worth of pictures and a few more exciting changes!

One month ago, I was preparing to come to Uganda; I can’t believe I’ve been here an entire month already!

Both so much and, yet, not a lot has happened within these four weeks.

Most of the time I’ve been here, I’ve been staying in “my” village.

Village life excites me and I love it, but, for American’s, it’s often too slow for them so I’ll give you a quick recap.

I’ve seen old friends and met new ones.

I’ve spent hours sitting inside a hut, laughing, talking, and enjoying local dishes prepared by my favorite mammas.

I’ve walked over ten miles on multiple different days to get to the house of those mammas, sometimes in the burning sun and sometimes in the coolness that happens right before a huge rain storm.

I woke early to see sunrises and purposed to sit on a veranda to see sunsets.

I saw a nine-year-old boy that had an entire papaya tree fall on his head and was pronounced dead. Now, just weeks later, he is not only alive, but walking, laughing, and beginning to speak again. His grandmother saw the healing power of God, heard our prayers, and saw the love of Jesus and decided to give her life to Jesus.

I helped hand out mattresses, blankets, mosquito nets, and school supplies to over 300 children as they begin their new term at school. The joy on their faces as they received their mattress, blanket, and mosquito net- the first time many of them have ever had one- was something I was not ever forget.

I watched as a small team of pre-teen boys put on real football (soccer) shoes to play in for the first time and played with an actual regulation-size ball. I watched the smile spread across their mentor’s face as he saw the next generation of footballers he was training no longer playing barefoot with a ball made of sacks.

I carried a two-week old baby around for hours and couldn’t stop adoring his squishy face and beautiful features.

I ate more giant mangoes, jackfruit, pineapples, and avocadoes than I can even count. All of them were gifts from my families here or from sponsored kids.

I have split ends and broken hair strands from children running their fingers through it and braiding it anytime I sat where they could reach it.

I have tan lines on my feet, wrists, and arms from spending hours in the sun teaching kids how to throw a Frisbee or playing cat and rat.

My arm muscles are exhausted from carrying children or picking them up and swinging them around. I carried one small child on my back from her house to the village center, which was over an hour walk.

I’ve spent countless hours simply sitting in the grass next to the football pitch or on mats as children climbed all over me.

I sang and danced around a bonfire late into the night with new and old friends. 

I worshiped in English and a local language with people who were too old or unable to walk the distance to church.

I sent three of my kids off to board at secondary school and felt like a true mamma, as I choked back tears watching them leave because I am so proud of them and because I’ll miss seeing them every day.

I have sat and had conversations under the beautiful night sky, surrounded by the stars and bright full moon that have answered a lot of questions about my future and furthered relationships.

I rode on a boda with arms full and sitting side-saddle with nothing to hold on to, unafraid, while my Ugandan dad drove me to town to pick some things for dinner.

I stood in the downpour of a random rainstorm and laughed as the boys playing football were completely unphased by the sudden flood; after all, it was football time, so nothing else mattered.

I have fought hard to get medical attention for a sponsored child and cried when he cried.

I hugged a mamma hard when she delivered her baby too early and lost it.

I cried and cringed when a child with spina bifida and turned in feet that constantly drag on the ground discovered he has an infection and decaying toes from the constant wounds and rubbing. The doctor then told him his feet will likely be amputated next week. The young boy, however, never let his joy fade.

I prayed over jajjas who have been sick for weeks on end and desire healing more than anything else.

I have been frustrated and angered at a lack of respect for authority and requests by fellow mzungus.

I’ve spent days sitting around on my bed doing next to nothing and dozing off to pass the hot day.

I have searched and negotiated and am in the final stages of getting a house in my name and will hopefully have somewhere to officially call my own in a few weeks.

I know this is a lot of seemingly random pieces of information here, but it’s been such a random few weeks that I can’t even think of one cohesive story to write about.

Plus, I’ve been promising for weeks that I’d have an update with lots of photos, so I wanted to make sure I provided exactly that.

Like I mentioned up there, after a lot of prayer, budgeting, and using my network of friends and family here, I have finally found a place that meets all my needs! This will not only be able to serve as a home base for the next five months while I’m here, but it will also be a place for friends and family to have as a place of rest and community whenever they are around and will be a ministry for those in need.

It’s a beautiful, recently-renovated house with two bedrooms, two indoor bathrooms with running water, a sitting room and kitchen. And it’s in the neighborhood I’ve been working and living in every time I’ve come to Kampala. It’s not only close and familiar, but it’s also safe, secure, private, and owned by a friend. It’s literally an answered prayer!

At just over $130 a month, I will finally have my own place after 27 years.

My next project will be furnishing it! 

Buying two beds and mattresses, a few shelves, a table and chairs, a small couch, and some needed items for the kitchen will cost around $300. If anyone feels led to donate and make my house a home, please follow the link and complete a one-time donation. (https://worldoutreach.org/index.php/missionary-support-2)

Also, once again, things are changing. 

While the weeks I’ve spent here in my village have been great and I’ve loved it, I feel it’s just about time to move on to find my long-term ministry here.

I’ve touched base with my home and my families and did some ministry here, but, like I’ve been saying for over a month, I believe God is doing something big and different regarding ministry here.

I feel like I need to be settled with a place to call home before I venture out so that I have a place to come home to, so it will all depend on how long it will take to get into the house and get moved in. 

The biggest thing about the house will be a place to store all my belongings. Even if I venture out to ministry a few hours away, it is not plausible to haul all three 50-pound bags with me. If nothing else, the house will provide a safe place to keep all the thing I will not be using daily (like the six-month surplus of hair curl cream or shampoo and conditioner) so I can bring only what is needed wherever I go.

I still have plans to go out and see our friend working within a Muslim village in Lake Victoria and follow up with some organizations near Jinja and a few here outside Kampala. 

But the biggest thing I’ve been learning the past few months is to be still and wait for God’s timing. 

He usually makes it very clear when a door opens or closes and when I’m supposed to go. I feel that time is coming where another door is opening, but it’s not there yet.

So, now, I am back to waiting on the revelation of God’s perfect plan and the next step I need to take.