Closer to Uganda

The bags have been checked through to their final destination- Uganda!- and I am left sitting with just my carry-on and a reassuring spirit of peace that everything will be alright.

The airport is frigid cold; but I expected nothing less. I’ve done this same thing so many times that I came prepared.

I am currently staying warm wearing a pair of knee-high compression socks with my heaviest of winter socks over them, which of course are colorful. They show very noticeably through the gaps in my Keens that were once tan but are now stained with the red dirt from previous trips to Uganda. My feet are propped up on my carry-on and I just had to put on my hoodie on top of my long-sleeve shirt. Did I mention I freeze easily? hah

As I stare at the “58” that signals the gate my plane will leave from, which is connected to the walkway in front of me, I can’t help but feel helpless and, yet, relaxed. I hate waiting. I am not the most patient person in the world, as most of you know, but right now, I cannot do anything other than wait.

There is nothing left to worry about at the moment. It does no good to think about what, if anything, I forgot to pack, or if my bags are too heavy, or if the two giant bags of opened sunflower seeds in my carry-on will raise eyebrows, or if we’ll hit traffic on the way and I’ll miss my flight. For now, everything is okay. And, so I just have to sit and wait until my plane arrives.

With the exception of a minor snafu of not appearing to have a ticket for my flight from Detroit to Amsterdam when I arrived at the airport (but an amazing attendant went above and beyond to get it all straightened out for me), the past 24 hours have been smooth. I even slept soundly last night and that’s something I haven’t been doing a lot of lately and I expected to not sleep at all last night like a kid on Christmas Eve.

Everyone keeps asking how I’m feeling and I’m not entirely sure myself. I’m currently in the state that I previously described- relaxed and peaceful. But, when I get caught in my “thinker” mindset, I have a whole gambit of emotions going.

I’m excited beyond words can even correctly convey, but at the same time, I’m nervous.

I’m nervous about leaving my family, specifically my brother. I know my parents and sisters understand it all, but I am not sure if he does yet. I don’t want him to feel abandoned or upset.

I’m nervous about flying completely alone. I’ve only flown alone internationally once before and it included a 14-hour layover in London that about sent me into a psychotic break—luckily my family Skyped with me almost the entire time to keep me awake and entertained! I’m nervous I’ll miss a connecting flight or that one leg will be cancelled suddenly.

I’m nervous that people I’m so excited to see, won’t remember me. I’ve had this fear every year, and it’s always the stupidest feeling because they always run and greet me and I’m always left feeling ridiculous for thinking I wasn’t significant enough to remember.

I’m nervous that I have no idea what I’m doing. Usually, I go with a plan of what will be happening when I’m in Uganda. This year, I have no idea what my six weeks there will look like. I don’t know what I am going to be doing or who all I will be seeing. I’m just operating on faith and prayer.

I know this is a short and seemingly random post, but it’s just a glimpse into what I’m experiencing as I wait for the first flight on my way back home to Uganda.

Please continue to pray for me—for traveling mercies, for directions, for clarity, for peace, and for whatever else you feel led to pray about!

Next time you hear from me, I’ll be writing from the red dirt of Uganda!